Chapter Seventeen


Daisy was awakened two hours later by Benjamin’s return. Their small fire had died down, and although she was still damp, it was not the bone-chilling wet of before. Benjamin stank of rotten fish and Daisy wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Where have you been?”

“Laying a false trail, trying to confuse the dogs.” He turned to their sleeping companions, prodding Shadrach gently. “Get up. We have to go.”

The two roused themselves, rubbing sleep from their eyes. “I want my knife back,” Shadrach said.

Benjamin shook his head. “I need it more than you do.”

“I can take it from you,” Shadrach growled. Lily put a restraining hand on his arm.

“You could,” Benjamin agreed, eyeing the larger man, “but then I wouldn’t lead you out of here, and you need me more than you need it.”

“He’s right,” Lily urged. “Please, dear, let’s go.”

Shadrach growled again, but did not argue the matter further. Daisy and Shadrach followed Benjamin out of the shelter as Lily struggled into a skirt. Benjamin turned to the right and Shadrach grabbed his arm painfully. “It’s the wrong way. We gotta go north.”

Benjamin jerked against the man’s grip, but was unable to break it. “We’ve got to get away from the river,” he hissed. “West first, then we swing back north. We have to avoid the slave catchers who are surely after you.”

Shadrach released him, giving his arm a violent twist as he did so. “You think you know so much. If we could find the Railroad, we wouldn’t need you.”

“I am the Railroad,” Benjamin said, rubbing his arm.

“You?” Shadrach said with a sneer. “You’re a boy.”

“I’ve been an agent for more than a year,” Benjamin said. “And I know where the next station is. Now if you’re done fighting me, let’s get going. I don’t like hanging around here.”

“A moment,” Daisy said. Lily had crawled out of the shelter behind them. Daisy broke some long thorns off the briars and pulled the rear hem of Lily’s skirt between her legs and fastened it to the woman’s waist with the thorns, creating rudimentary trousers.

“Thank you,” Lily said. “I’d have never thought of that.” She looked at Daisy’s denims. “I wish we’d had time to plan this better. It must be Providence that brought us to you.”

The men were still eyeing each other warily. Daisy said, “Of course it was,” but she was beginning to be unsure of that. It seemed that gaining Shadrach’s trust would require a great effort, one they might not have time for. She took Benjamin’s hand as Lily took Shadrach’s, and the foursome headed out into the dark woods.

Benjamin strode ahead, tugging Daisy along with him. He leaned down and whispered in her ear. “If we’re taken, don’t put up a fight. Kneel down, put your hands in the air. Promise me.”

“Shouldn’t we fight?” she asked, surprised.

Benjamin shook his head. He nodded back toward the couple who were following them. “He can get himself killed if he wants, but I want you safe. If you beg for forgiveness, Mr. Carr won’t harm you. He might beat me, but he won’t kill me. And if he sells you, I swear I will come find you and save you.”

“What are you two whispering about up there?” Shadrach demanded.

Benjamin strode back to him. “Keep your voice down!” he hissed. “Do you want to be taken?”

Shadrach blinked and backed down. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I wanted to know what you were saying.”

“It’s none of your damned business what I say to my wife,” Benjamin said. “Now keep quiet, damn you.” He strode back to Daisy and took her hand, then led them forward. There was no more talking until near dawn, when they found some dense underbrush to hide in. They were probably no more than two miles from the river – Daisy hoped it was enough. Benjamin still stank of the rotten fish he had used to mislead the dogs. She did not care, as she wrapped her arms around him. She had always thought he was smart and brave, but she had never realized how much. “Sleep,” she whispered. “I’ll watch. Don’t wear yourself out.”

He shook his head. “You sleep. We should be at the station tomorrow night or the night after. I can hold out til then.”

“You’re afraid I’ll steal my knife back,” Shadrach whispered.

“You would,” Benjamin stated, “but I’m not giving you the chance.”

“You’re right about that,” Shadrach said.

“Please don’t quarrel,” Lily whispered wearily. She turned to Benjamin. “Thank you both for helping us. I know we’re a lot of trouble. Please forgive us.”

“Nothing to forgive,” Daisy said. She looked at Shadrach. “We’re all in the same boat. We should help each other.”

Shadrach grunted and rolled onto his side. Daisy lay down beside her husband, but only fell into an uneasy doze. She was aware of the passage of two or three hours when she roused at the sound of dogs barking, two or three miles off, near the riverbank. She cowered in the underbrush; they all did. Benjamin kept a hand on the knife. Shadrach stared at it hungrily, but knew better than to make a move, with the slave catchers so near by. They heard shouts, and a gunshot, which made them all jump. Daisy was rather proud of herself for not yelping, but they all maintained a frightened silence until the shouts and barks moved off, heading south along the river.

Benjamin patted and hugged her. She could feel trembling – she was not sure if it was hers or his, probably both. None of them slept the rest of the day, sitting in nervous trepidation until after sunset, when Benjamin led them out of their hiding place and turned toward the north.

“Why did they turn south?” Shadrach asked, this time keeping his voice low.

“I spread enough dead fish around that the dogs would lose your scent,” Benjamin explained, “and, with any luck, they think you’ve drowned.”

“So we’re safe?” Lily asked hopefully.

“We’re not safe until we’re in Canada,” Benjamin said. “Don’t let down your guard.”

They made a wide arc north and east back to the river. Aside from startling a young deer, and being startled by it, they had no adventures until striking the river. They once again followed it, and Benjamin began watching for the abandoned cabin where they were to find sanctuary.

A white man stepped out of the trees in front of them and held up a hand. “Stop!” he hissed at them. “Go no further!”

Shadrach leaped past Benjamin and Daisy and had a hand on the man’s throat before he could cry out. The man’s eyes bulged alarmingly but he managed to choke out the words, “drinking gourd!”

“Stop it!” Benjamin commanded. “He’s our conductor!”

“He’s white,” Shadrach said, not releasing his prisoner. “He’s not to be trusted.”

“He is,” Benjamin insisted. “Let him go!”

Shadrach let go of the man’s throat, but kept hold of his collar. The man coughed. “Which one of you is Benjamin?”

“None of us,” Shadrach said, shaking him.

“I am,” Benjamin said, “and this is Daisy. You’re expecting us.”

“I’m Henry,” the man said. “I’ve been waiting out here to warn you – thank God I found you. There are slave catchers at the station. I’m afraid we’ve been discovered.”

“You said your name was Daniel,” Shadrach said accusingly.

“It doesn’t matter.” Benjamin flicked his hand. He turned to Henry. “What do we do?”

“Who are these two?” Henry asked. “Although I bet I can guess.”

“Shadrach and Lily,” Benjamin said. “We rescued them when their rowboat tipped over.”

“So I thought,” Henry said. “The country is in an uproar about you two – there’s a reward of five hundred dollars each. But I heard you’d drowned.”

“It’s what we wanted everyone to think,” Benjamin said.

“I’ve got three horses stashed in the woods that way.” Henry pointed northwest. “You’ll have to ride double – I wasn’t expecting four of you.”

“All right,” Benjamin said. They followed Henry for about a hundred yards back into the woods, but were surprised to find a man standing by the horses holding a musket.

“Hello, Johnson,” the man said, resting the barrel of his weapon in the crook of his arm. “I thought if I kept an eye on you, you’d lead me to the mother lode sooner or later.” He eyed the four escaped slaves. “And boy, have you ever.”

Benjamin stepped protectively in front of Daisy as Henry stalked forward. “Out of the way, Edgmont,” Henry said. “You don’t scare me.”

Edgmont leveled his musket at Henry. As Henry reached to brush the musket aside, Shadrach grabbed the knife from Benjamin’s belt, lunging at Edgmont with a defiant bellow. Benjamin fell to his knees as the musket went off. Daisy yelped and caught him as he hit the ground, blood spurting from a wound in his abdomen. Lily and Henry grabbed at Shadrach, but it was too late – Edgmont fell to the ground with the knife in his throat. Blood spurted in a shower over the two slaves and their conductor.

“Help me!” Daisy cried, pressing on Benjamin’s wound with her bare hands.

Shadrach pulled the knife from Edgmont’s neck as the man gasped out his last. Henry shook his head and sprang to Benjamin’s side. “Are you hit?” he asked.

Benjamin shook his head. “Knife,” he gasped.

Henry ripped open Benjamin’s shirt. The razor sharp knife had cut deeply into Benjamin’s belly as Shadrach had ripped it free. Daisy turned away, sickened – the wound was too disgusting for her to look at, so she looked at her husband’s face, which was turning paler by the moment. “Benjamin,” she choked.

“Be free, Daisy,” Benjamin said.

She kissed his lips, already turning cold. “I love you,” she said, but it was too late for him to hear her.

Henry stood. “I ought to turn you over to the sheriff,” he hissed at Shadrach. “It’s what you deserve.”

Shadrach wiped the bloody knife and gestured at Lily. “I did it for her. No way is she going back.”

Henry ground his teeth together. “And this boy? This brave boy? Have you no pity?”

“I’m sorry about the boy,” Shadrach said. “I didn’t mean to hurt him, but he should have given me back my knife when I asked him to.”

Henry growled at Shadrach, then turned to Daisy. He gently took her by the shoulders. “Come on, my dear. We have to get out of here. That gunshot may not have gone unheard.”

Daisy shook her head. “We can’t leave him.”

“We aren’t going to,” Henry said. “Help me lift him,” he ordered Shadrach.

The two men slung Benjamin’s body across one of the horses. Lily stood silent, pale as marble. Shadrach lifted her onto one of the horses and mounted behind her. Henry mounted the other and lifted Daisy in front of him, taking the reins of the horse carrying Benjamin’s body. Daisy looked down at Edgmont’s body. “Who was he?”

“A neighbor,” Henry said, kicking his horse into a gallop. “A no-account, always looking for a quick dollar.” He glanced back at Shadrach, galloping behind. “He shouldn’t have killed him – I could have handled it.”

“He’s afraid,” Daisy said dreamily, realizing the truth of it all at once. The horses’ galloping hoofs pounded out the rhythm, my fault, my fault, my fault.

Henry frowned worriedly down at her. “We’re all afraid. That’s no reason to kill.”

They rode across the bridge, then swung north, away from the town, in about half an hour arriving at a small farmstead. A young woman, not much older than Daisy, came out of the house, her dark hair pulled back in a severe bun. She gazed up at them as they reined the horses to a halt, taking in their blood-spattered clothes and Benjamin’s body slung across the saddle. She turned pale. “What happened?”

Henry swung Daisy down and leaped down beside her. “I’ll tell you later, Mary. This is Daisy – her husband’s been killed and she’s in shock. Will you take care of her, and this other lady? Her name is Lily.”

Mary nodded, taking Daisy by the hand. “Of course. Where will you be?”

“Taking care of the horses, and of this young man here.” He nodded at Benjamin. “He’ll need a proper burial.”

“Are we to expect other visitors?” Mary asked, her lips pressed together.

Henry shook his head. “I don’t think so. Edgmont is dead,” he talked on, ignoring Mary’s gasp, “but there’s nothing to tie us to it. Be alert anyway.”

Mary nodded and led the two women into the house while Henry and Shadrach led the horses into the barn. Daisy was in a fog, but she made no attempt to clear it. She was afraid – the fog was comforting in its way. She wrapped herself in it, shivering.

“Come,” Mary said. She led them into a bedroom with a double bed and began pulling clothing out of a large wardrobe. “Please be quiet, my brothers are sleeping in the next room.”

Daisy began peeling off her bloody clothes as Mary poured wash water into a basin. Daisy plunged her hands into the basin, the water turning pink. There were dark red stains under her fingernails, and she stared at them in fascination until Mary seized the cloth and began washing her.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Mary asked Lily. “I take it she saw her husband die, poor thing?”

“I can’t,” Lily choked. “It was too horrible. I’m sure your father will tell you what he wants you to know.”

“He’s my husband,” Mary said, toweling Daisy off, “but no matter, lots of people make that mistake.” She took the basin away, and returned a few minutes later with clean water. She began dressing Daisy as Lily washed and dressed herself.

They heard Henry enter the house a few minutes later. He knocked softly on the bedroom door and Mary let him in. “Where’s the other one?” she asked.

“Digging a grave in the orchard.” Henry knelt down by Daisy, put a hand on her knee. “It’s a lovely spot, my dear. I’m sure he’ll rest quietly there.”

Daisy nodded. She felt tears spring to her eyes as her fog began to lift. She shook her head, and retreated back into it.

Henry frowned and turned to his wife. “She’s been like this the whole time. See if you can snap her out of it – she’s going to need her wits about her. It’s hard on her, I know, young as she is.”

Mary took her husband aside, speaking low. “What happened, Henry? Did Edgmont kill him?”

“No,” Henry said, nodding toward the back of the house. “That other one did, that Shadrach. He killed Edgmont, too.” He turned to Lily. “Your husband is a very dangerous man. I’d get away from him as soon as I was able, if I were you.”

Lily covered her eyes, tears streaming down her face. “He did it to protect me. He didn’t mean to kill the boy, you know he didn’t.” Her large brown eyes gazed up at Henry. “You’re still going to help us, aren’t you?”

“I’ll help you, my dear,” Henry said. “I’ll help that violent fool, too, if you insist, but it’s against my better judgment.” He took his wife’s hand. “Come, all of you. We need to get the boy buried before daylight – you must all be under cover before then.”

Mary wrapped a shawl around Daisy’s shoulders and kept an arm around her as they went through the back door and down the path to the orchard. The trees were white with blossoms, and their scent filled the air. Henry was in the lead – he suddenly flung up an arm and waved the women back. “Keep them away, Mary! Keep them away!”

Lily shrieked and ran forward, where a dark form swung from the tree branch. “Cut him down, oh cut him down!” she cried.

Henry sprinted forward, pulling out a pocket knife, and began sawing at the worn belt-rope that tied Shadrach’s body to the branch. He and Lily lowered the lifeless body to the ground, Lily sobbing all the while. Mary approached and looked down. “Was he discovered? Is this a lynching?”

“No,” Henry said. “He was worth five hundred dollars reward. No one would do this, no one could have done it, the way this man would fight.” He put an arm around Lily’s shoulders. “He did this himself.”

“Why?” Lily sobbed. “Why? He fought so hard to be free. Why would he do this now?”

Daisy heard her own voice, coming from far away. “He fought so hard for you to be free.” She looked down where Benjamin’s body lay beside the grave Shadrach had dug. “He couldn’t live with himself, now.” There was something hot and wet running down her cheeks, and she wiped it away.

“I’m afraid you’re right,” Henry said. He looked at his wife. “Help me, dearest. We’ll have to bury them together.”

Mary nodded and the two of them tumbled Shadrach’s body into the grave. They were more gentle with Benjamin, lowering him on top of the man who had killed him. Henry took the spade Shadrach had left against the tree and began filling in the hole. Mary and Lily prayed, but Daisy found no prayer in her heart. She doubted she would ever pray again.

Henry said a few religious words as they consigned the two men to whatever fate awaited them in the next world.

They took the two women back to the house, Lily still quietly sobbing, Daisy silent and distant. Mary led them up a ladder to the attic. She moved aside a trunk against the wall to reveal a small cubbyhole. “I’m sorry. I know you’ve been through the mill, and I feel as though I’m locking you away, but you’ll be safe here. Stay until my brothers go to school, then you can come down.” She looked worriedly from one to the other. “Will you be all right?”

Daisy nodded and crawled into the space. There was a mattress, chamberpot, some food and water, but no light. Lily crawled in after her, but Daisy threw herself on the mattress and turned her face to the wall, ignoring the other woman. She thought about Shadrach and his rope. It would be so easy. She clenched her fists as the last shreds of her fog lifted. No. She would not give God the satisfaction of driving her to suicide. She felt a great swelling of anger – everything she had ever believed was upside down. The anger felt good, a wall she could build between herself and her grief. Yes. That was the thing; never let go of it.

Lily lay next to her, sobbing her heart out, but Daisy did not shed a tear, at least not as long as she lay awake.



Mary let them out the next morning. Henry, she explained, was a teacher and had to appear at the school as though everything were normal. Daisy helped Mary burn their bloodstained clothing, helpfully if not cheerfully. Mary seemed much relieved that she seemed to be recovered from her shock, but kindly avoided discussing the previous night’s happenings. Lily was weepy, prone to bursting into tears, but she preferred such tasks as milking the cow or feeding the chickens.

No one came by, no news came. If Edgmont’s body had been found, they did not know of it. The two women had to hide themselves again when Henry came home with the children until the three boys were fast asleep. Mary gave the two women a quick hug before they mounted up and rode to the north.

They rode hard all night, changing horses two or three times at isolated farmhouses. The horses were always saddled and waiting for them, but they saw no one. They reached the banks of the Ohio half an hour before dawn, where a small steamer awaited to carry them across the river. By dawn they were in a free state, though still not free. They were met by their next conductor, like Willie a free black, and began the next stage of their journey.

They had a little more freedom of movement once they were out of Kentucky. They were passed from conductor to conductor, sometimes traveling by day, sometimes by night. Daisy always did as she was asked, sometimes wondering why she bothered until she remembered Benjamin’s last words to her.

They arrived at Detroit, the last stop on the Railroad. That night they would cross over the river to Canada, to freedom at last. She and Lily had continued to travel together, although they spoke little to each other. There were four other fugitives at the station – the stationmasters were an elderly Quaker couple named Dixon. They were all at dinner when they heard a clatter of hoofs approaching. The ‘passengers’ scattered to their hiding place, although they could still hear the conversation when the stranger knocked at the door.

“Please, ma’am,” the stranger said politely when Mrs. Dixon answered the door, “I’m looking for a young lady named Daisy Carr.”

“I’m sorry,” Mrs. Dixon said, equally polite, “but there’s no one here by that name. Just me and my husband.”

“I’m not a slave catcher, ma’am,” the man said. Mrs. Dixon stiffened but said nothing. “I’m a detective, with Pinkerton’s.” He showed Mrs. Dixon a card. “Miss Carr’s sister hired me to find her and give her a letter. Neither she nor you are in any danger from me, I assure you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Mrs. Dixon said haughtily. “If you’re accusing us of slave stealing, I’ll have the sheriff on you for slander.”

The man held up his hands. “No such thing, ma’am.” He pressed the card into her hand. “Give Miss Carr this card. It has my hotel written on it.”

Mrs. Dixon pressed her lips together and closed the door in his face, almost slamming it. They listened until he had ridden away, but kept a cautious watch. “What do you think, Nora?” Mr. Dixon asked.

“I don’t know,” she said, “but we have to get them out of here now, before he comes back with the law.”

“May I have the card?” Daisy asked.

“You’re not thinking of going?” Mr. Dixon asked. “It’s almost assuredly a trap for you.”

“Let me have it, please?”

Mrs. Dixon frowned but handed her the card. “What can you be thinking, girl? That was a ridiculous story – sent by your sister, indeed. How would a slave go about hiring a detective?”

“My sister is white,” Daisy said. “The daughter of my owner.”

Mrs. Dixon frowned. “Scandalous.”

“Maybe.” Daisy tapped the card. “You leave without me. I have to go, can’t you see?”

Mr. Dixon shook his head. “No, I can’t see. You’ve traveled three hundred miles only to turn back now?”

“I’m not turning back, but I don’t want to put the rest of you in danger. Just go – I’ll find my own way across the river. I have money, I can pay for passage.”

“I can’t force you,” Mr. Dixon said, “but I will tell you that you’re being extremely foolhardy.”

Daisy shrugged. “Perhaps. It’s my choice.” She gathered up her shawl and left the house.

She had to ask directions twice, even though the hotel proved to be not far distant. She had never been in a hotel before – she had a little difficulty finding the room number written on the card, and she had a sense she was doing something terribly improper, but she did not care. She rapped her knuckles on the door.

A young man opened the door, not tall, sandy-haired and with an innocent, boyish look on his face. “Mr. Jones?”

The man’s face brightened. “You must be Miss Carr. Please, come in, come in.”

Daisy shuddered, but she brushed past him as he stepped aside. “Not Miss Carr, please.” Not Mrs. Butler either. “Call me Daisy.”

“All right, Daisy,” Mr. Jones said, offering her a chair. “Call me Johnny.”

“You have something for me?” She looked around the room – her feelings were at odds with her expectations. She half expected to be arrested at any moment, yet something about this man made her feel entirely secure and safe. It was disorienting, but she tried to appear calm and in control.

Johnny strode over to the desk and picked up a letter. “I didn’t think you’d come. Why did you?”

Daisy held out her hand. “For that.”

Johnny handed the letter to her and waited while she broke the seal and read it.

My dearest Daisy,


Come home. I’ve thought and thought what I ought to say to you, what fine words, but they all come down to that. Please come home.


I know I was awful to you, and Daddy has told me what he said to you, but everything has changed since you left. I’ve thrown Harold over, so you’re in no danger from him. I’m deeply sorry for what I said, and if you’ll come home, I’ll try to explain it to you and make it right. Daddy is deeply sorry, too, and promises not to sell you. I can’t believe I even have to write those words, they’re so terrible. They sicken me – I can perfectly understand that they would have frightened you half to death.


We’re all at our wits’ ends about you and Benjamin. Mr. Butler tries not to show it, but I know he is heartbroken. I caught him weeping in the pantry. He is so worried and so sad – please, both of you, come home and make us all happy again.


Your loving sister,
Pamela Carr

Daisy turned her head away from Johnny Jones. “How did you find me?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I’m a good detective.” He narrowed his eyes. “Who killed Edgmont?”

“He was found then.” She shuddered. “We met up with some more escaped slaves, and tried to help them. One of them killed Edgmont.”

“Shadrach?”

She looked up at him. “You know?”

“Not hard to figure – he killed his owner, he was obviously headed north. Is he here, with you?”

She shook her head. “He’s dead.” She gazed back down at the letter. Mr. Butler is heartbroken. Of course he was. She felt filled with shame – she had never considered for a moment how her actions would affect anyone else. Mr. Butler had been more like a father to her than her own father had. Always there, always kind, always showing her right from wrong. How could she have stolen his son from him, whatever the provocation might have been?

“I can’t go back.” She looked up at Johnny. “Tell my sister I’m sorry. Tell her – “ she paused for air, “ – tell her Benjamin is dead. She’ll understand then.”

“Are you sure?” Johnny said. “She was so. . .tender when she spoke of you. I’m from Indiana, so I don’t really understand these things, how Southerners can enslave their own kin, but I know she cares for you.”

“I’m sure.” She stood up. “What is your reward for my return?”

Johnny drew himself up. “Nothing. I wouldn’t work that way. I was paid to find you, and I have. Oddly enough, I think you should go back, but I certainly wouldn’t force you.”

She offered him her hand. “I thank you then.”

He held her hand when she tried to withdraw it. “Where will you go?”

“Canada. After that, I don’t know. France, maybe. I have some talent as an artist.”

“I wish you well, then, Daisy.” He released her hand. “Go with God.”

She pursed her lips and left the room. She might not know where she was going, but if there was a place where God was not, that would be the place for her.